SCORPIO: You are shrewd in business, because you are manipulative. With your total lack of ethics, you will reach the pinnacle of success. Most Scorpios are murderred.

SAGITTARIUS: You rely almost entirely on luck since you lack talent. Your tendency to be reckless makes you a good drunk or drug addict. Sagittarian’s die with people laughing at them.

CAPRICORN: You are a born leader, but you live in fear of taking risks. Avoid standing still too long. You are likely to take root and become a tree. You are a Fascist. Capricorn’s die talking to themselves.

AQUARIUS: You love humanity, but have no idea how to have a relationship. Since you are very impractical, people think you are stupid. Aquarian’s get run over by a vehicles due to bad judgment.

PISCES: You are a visionary that has paranoid delusions and often thinks you are being followed. Since you are a coward, you pick on small animals. Pisces die of starvation while getting lost at the mall.

ARIES: You’re a delightful child that is lucky you can dress yourself. Quick tempered and impatient, you would be a pioneer if you weren’t so scornful of other people’s advice. Aries die in the woods looking for mushrooms.

TAURUS: You are strong as an ox, but shaped like a potato which you love to eat. You expect too much for too little. You are cheap. You will die when someone mistakes you for a rock and parks too close to you.

GEMINI: You are intelligent in the way that sub-atomic particles are intelligent. Few people take you seriously, because they can’t understand what you are saying. You will be killed by a flying tomato.

CANCER: You have a strong sense of family. You are known for committing incest. If there is anything to put off until tomorrow, you will. Cancer’s die on welfare.

LEO: You are a born leader. You bully people. It’s only the best for you as you thrive on luxury. Leo’s die when someone pushes them off their yacht — the one in foreclosure.

VIRGO: No one is a better worker than a Virgo. You’re picky and hate disorder. Virgo’s die die bending over to pick up other people’s trash.

LIBRA: Libra’s are known for their beauty. You are bi-sexual. People listen to you, because you say what they want to hear. You would make a good diplomat or prostitute. Libra’s die when both lovers show up at once.



  1. Ooohhh, Melanie, thanks for that LMAO treat for Halloween. In some of the cases, I think even though it’s meant to be funny, it’s all too true!!!! But what makes you think all Virgos work so hard. Thinking of one in particular who’s a mushroom!

  2. lol.. I’m a size 3-4 .. and I’m a Taurus. (and I’m practical and frugal; not cheap)..lol. 🙂

    I give money to homeless people and such.. by being careful with my own spending.. and I keep the house going for my 3 children by paying the mortgage on time..

    Taurus’ get a bad rap about $$ all the time.. (or maybe because on the cus for Aries…not a full Taurus? )

    I do love potatos.. and I wish I could eat and eat and not gain weight.. lol (hugs-Happy Halloween) Peace and Love

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